I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
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Thursday, 24 March 2011


I realized as I walked in the door this morning after taking the boys to school, that there is a silver lining in all this. Well, I'm sure there's more than one, but today I was thinking about priorities, and how our actions reflect what our real priorities are, as opposed to those we think we hold.

Having to make a decision on a daily basis between actions I can and cannot take, really has brought my priorities into very strong focus. When you can only actively tackle two or three things a day, these decisions become simpler. I realize that by tracking my choices, I can see them super clearly. And thus, my priorities are easier to adjust (plus, I have a really really good excuse not to do things that I'm not so keen on). Here is what I've noticed.

My first priority is crystal clear: my sanity. Hands down, my mental, emotional and psychological health win out every time. Even over my physical health. If given a choice between resting on schedule and seeing a friend, I will choose the friend. Not necessarily out of loyalty (not that I don't love you guys), more out of a personal need to be a social being. My therapy appointments are sacred, and if need be, nothing else gets done on those days.

My next priority is my health. Tracking my activities, pacing, resting, etc. Which is why I've been able to see the priorities in the first place. I think this is the right order for these two, because being in a better mental state promotes better health. If I got depressed because I isolated myself in order to rest, I think it would set back the progress I've made.

Next: Obvious. My child. His overall well being. If it comes to choosing between doing something in the house, seeing a friend, going to the library, or anything else I could do while he's at school, or spending time with him in the evening, there's not even a question. He comes first. After me. Which is good - drowning man, airplane masks and all that.

After him I dedicate the most energy to my immediate family, friends and extended family. And only after that do I consider (in order) my finances, my home, my clothing, my hair and my car. Yes, it's true, my dishes are in an endless cycle of piles, and my hair gets washed once in a blue moon. But my child is bathed, and has clean clothes. I take my daily walks. I connect and engage with people. The important things are taken care of. What's that saying? Something like in a 100 years what will matter? Certainly not my dishes or my tangled hair! What will matter... what do I want my great-grandchildren (should I be lucky enough to have them) to know about me?

1 comment:

  1. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

    ~~~Lucille Ball~~~