I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
To send me a private message, please e-mail me: flylittlewordsfly@gmail.com
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Friday, 25 April 2014

Distance, Effort and Mind

I had this thought the other day. I was sitting in the car, watching my son and his friend run to the lake, and as they got smaller, it struck me... things seem a lot farther than they used to. I lived in a house in University that was farther from the lake than I was at that moment, and I walked to the lake all the time. I walked all over campus. Heck, I used to walk to work when I lived downtown.

I wanted to go down to the lake. I wanted to sit on the bench at the boardwalk and take it in. And it was just too damn far. And that was ok, because if I'm honest with myself, it had already been a busy day and I had already done a fair bit of walking. And so I started thinking instead.

Friday, 11 April 2014

The Cold That's Not a Cold

I had a great phone session with my doctor in California. He suspects these colds I'm having are not all colds - that the symptoms are actually due to over-stimulation of my immune system due to a combination of the viruses that hit me and the meds I take to stimulate my immune system, and of course, also due to the nature of ME. Oh yeah, and to those pesky mycotoxins in my sinuses.

You see, part of what causes the fatigue and neuro-immune dysfunction has something to do with the production of cytokines being not quite right. There are already too many. So when I get sick and my body starts producing more, then there's a really big overload. Which leads to greater fatigue, brain fog, and more viral symptoms. Apparently this cytokine thing also affects cortisol? And together they make sleep really tough to come by. So add a layer of lack of sleep to all that. Oh yeah! And then when I take my immune-stimulating meds, even more cytokines get produced, and I end up a big gooey mess. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that, but that's my understanding at the moment.