I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
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Sunday, 27 March 2011

Clebrating the Bestest of my Best Friends

Last night, I had the gift of celebrating two birthdays (among many actually - there are a lot of March babies in the group of friends that gathered - but it's the two closest to me I specifically I want to write about). I was serenaded by one of the birthday girls during the karaoke part of the evening. She sang me "Cool Rider" from Grease 2, the ultimate in cheesy badness. The other is even more adamant than I about not singing in public.

Today I am happy, filled with memories from a night I wasn't sure I'd be able to have. I did as close to nothing as I possibly could yesterday, planning and preparing for the evening. I was sure I would only last two hours at the most, and that I'd be fully crashed out today. Once again, I am happy to be proven wrong.

Thanks to the thoughtfulness and presence of the two birthday girls, I was able to  handle more than I thought. Gentle hugs, excellent conversation and copious amounts of laughter made it easy for me to stay out past my bedtime. And although it took a very very long time for my sympathetic system to process every experience and disengage so I could actually get some sleep, I feel way less bad than I though I would today.

So in ode to them (pseudonyms used, just in case they don't want the whole world knowing who they are, but if you know them you'll likely know who I'm talking about), here's why I love the birthday girls so.

I met both at University. One was instant click, hasn't left my side since frosh week. Probably because I won't let her. Let's call her Riley. Riley has seen me through piles of men, moments of existential agnst, and to be honest, I think she taught me how to really dance, even though she will deny it. She regularly pokes my nose (I don't get it, but I've stopped trying to figure it out), can make me laugh more easily than anyone I know, is the ultimate in shopping buddies, and it was to her apartment that I ran the night I became a single mom.

Maggie, on the other hand, I had to reconnect with a couple years after graduation, when we decided to share an apartment because we were both badly needing to move out of family homes and into downtown life. She has been a rock, and I honestly don't know what I would do without her. Our shared life started when we were both in dark places. We've been each other's bridges and support beams into new lives. We've propelled each other through spiritual paths and personal growth. I admire her, and am inspired by her. She is the only former roommate I still talk to.

Riley and Maggie have given me a great deal, as a team and individually. We're celebrated and grieved together, and seen each other through whatever life threw at us throughout our entire adult existence. When the three of us are together, we create a space where it seems anything can happen, a safe and exciting and comforting space. I have many good friends, but these two stand out as the oldest of my really close friends, whose closeness and unconditional support has never wavered, even when I was really stupid and pushed everyone else away. For this and so much more, I value their friendship, their generosity, and, well, them, really, their whole entire selves.

It's this kind of support, which I get from Maggie, Riley, and others, that keeps me standing nowadays. The constant choruses of "yes you can" and "we love you" and "we know how strong you are" make it possible for me to believe that I can, and I am strong enough to get through this, and whatever else is going to come. At least I know one thing for sure, that they will be there, in body or spirit, to catch me and to celebrate, every moment as it comes.

I just want you to know, girls, that I am thankful for your constant presence in my life!

Last night was a real gift, one which I will treasure as one of the most special nights out I've had (and you know I've had plenty... if not recently...) because the experience reminded me that with you two by my side, everything is always better.

1 comment:

  1. Right back at you babe - sorry it took me so long to read, but I think in a way I needed to read it this week instead of a month ago. Love you!