I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

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Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Vent After a Sleepless Night

Today is shaping up to be a full-out self-pampering day.

The following paragraph is not for the easily grossed out - reader beware.

Last night was rough. My little guy was up 4 or 5 times with a cough. The problem is, that he has such a strong gag reflex that when he coughs deeply, his stomach contents have a tendency to erupt unceremoniously. Poor kid. Last night, it even came up his nose. So him waking up coughing means that I have to be up with him, holding the bucket, or wiping his mouth, and then rinsing the bucket, and holding him while he dry heaves over the toilet because there's nothing left. At one point he felt so bad, he even called his dad and stepmom for added comfort.

Here's the problem from my end: hard enough for me to sleep lately without a sick child. It's also hard for a healthy parent to sleep with a sick child. Put the two together. There's me. Right at the bull's eye of the double whammy.

Between the coughing, the getting and the trouble getting back to sleep each time, I think I got about 2.5 hours last night, and I think I used up today's marbles. Which leaves me fairly burnt out today. I won't even go into how I'm feeling, because the list of symptoms is the same, just more intense. Suffice it to say, I felt it necessary to check that I turned the stove off 3 times. I did. But still, I don't trust myself in this state, and need to be sure. Especially after the plastic lid incident the other day...

It's a good thing it's a nice day out - the sunshine is helping me a bit. It's also a good thing the child is resilient and tenacious (just like his mommy). Between he and my mother, they convinced me to let him go to camp today, to see if he can do it. So far, he's spent the morning with her, and I've been told there's been little coughing and none of the other stuff.

So, left to my own devices, I've spent the morning watching old episodes of Sanctuary, curled up on the couch under my blanket, and am treating myself to a home-made cajeta mocha. I think I will now kill some monsters with my magical gem towers, and then perhaps engage in some crossword activity before engaging in more non-challenging TV viewing. And that is about all I will (can) do today. Until he comes home. Then I'll borrow some more marbles from tomorrow's stash.

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