I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
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Sunday, 24 April 2011

A Surprising and Productive Day

This is Easter Weekend. My son is at his dad's. Has been since Thursday. Won't be back until tomorrow. My parents are taking a well-deserved long weekend for themselves somewhere not too far from the city (I honestly don't even know where). The two Jewish friends I count on for days like these are away for Pesach. Most of my non-Jewish friends are family-holiday-busy. So I figured I would have a very quiet, kind of lonely weekend punctuated by brief visits with my sister and her brood.

On a whim, I e-mailed a friend whose family is out of town, but figuring that either she'd be there, or they'd be here. Well my lucky day! Riley was free! I suggested coffee. I never bargained for what I got... but then I rarely do when she's involved...

She took into account my limited capabilities (the air pressure was really low yesterday morning, and my head was spinning when I woke up) and planned an outing to a place with underground parking and elevators (yay, elevators!). She also thought to make sure we could eat, which is good, because I had not considered the time of day, and was actually rather hungry. Yes, she is a good friend, and that's why I keep her.

At lunch, I mentioned having to pick up some supplements, and she mentioned a nearby store. And off we went for a walk. It was longer than my usual walks, but so lovely, to be walking somewhere other than my block, and on a sunny, warm, beautiful day (the air pressure eased up a bit throughout the day). It's a very lively area of town where she lives, and it was really nice to be around so many people for a change, and feel the energy of the city coming out of hibernation.

On the way back to the car, I espied a gaming shop, and we stopped in on the off-chance that they would carry a much-longed for memory card for my son's game cube. While I had a hard time getting those words out 'memory card for the game cube' - I don't know, it just seemed impossible at the time, I was all tongue-tied - they understood me, and at the second, far more casual and interesting purveyor of used gaming goods, I got it! Now my child can save his game, and not have to start all over every time he gets a game over. Phew. I feel like a good mom. Following that success, we decided to celebrate Easter and stimulate the economy all at once, and stopped for some chocolate at Laura Secord.

Of course, I left the parking ticket in the car, and my dear friend once again helped out by getting it for me, as I was by that point, pretty fried. I got home, and I fell on the couch, to savour Sandman: Doll's House, and watch yet more bad TV. I can't even remember what I did for dinner, but I know it was a warm-er-up in the micro kind of deal. I do remember having a glass of wine with it, and that it was tasty. I got my hugs from my niece and nephews after that, chatted with a friend online, and retired to my fictional havens until my eyes closed for the night.

Looking back today, I understand better what my naturopath said all those months ago about my functional capacity. I had rated myself at a 3, when she put me at a 4. She explained that when looking at the descriptors of activity level, I have to think of what I would be able to do if I were not a Mom. If I were only responsible for myself.

Well, I know now that I've gotten very used to planning my days to include my child, his food, his playtime, reading to him at night and all that. And I realize that yesterday, I was able to "achieve" more external productivity if you will, because there was no other place to put my energy, except for me. So I didn't have the shower as planned, but I did "get stuff done" - more than I had thought I could. I got my supplements, I had my walk, I socialized, I got the memory card, and most importantly, I learned that when I'm childless for a while, I can plan on doing more than I can when he's home with me.

So thank-you to my dear friend for helping me see what is possible, and for making it more so by helping me do it. Now I am all supplemented, and relaxed, and ready to face the drugstore (shiver) and looking forward to that shower.


  1. Horray for Riley, love her :) Even though I had a great day visiting family I am a little jealous of the two of you and kind of wish I had been there too.

  2. Best friends are hard to find, and harder to keep. It would've been nice to have you there too!