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I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

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Monday, 15 August 2011

Superviviente - Survivor

Today's musical selection comes to you all the way from Spain. Ella Baila Sola was a group/duo that had huge success in Latin countries in the late 90's. I really like their folk/pop style - its like a populist version of the Indigo Girls. But of all their songs, many of which are about female empowerment (just like the Indigo Girls), this one  - Superviviente - is special, and not just because of the killer harmonies and catchy tune.

I couldn't find a video of the song, but here is a black-screen with the song playing, and one with videos of waves.

This is a song that I turn to when I'm down, when I'm up, whenever there is any kind of upheaval in my life. It's been on my soundtrack for break-ups, clean-ups, cheering-up friends, low-down, and all kinds of other moments. Sometimes I listen to it and it is about me. Other times, it's about people I admire, or I love.

Nunca te he visto más alto ni más guapo ni mejor

te han sentado bien los años y me alegra oir tu voz 
en el fondo de tus ojos donde guardas tus caminos 
lo que llena y lo que duele lo que nadie más ha visto 
es allí donde me quedo y en tu nueva paz respiro 
y me crece verte fuerte porque todos somos niños
 
I've never seen you so look so tall, so handsome or so good,
The years suit you well, and your voice brings me joy,
In the depths of your eyes where you guard the roads you've traveled,
The things that fill, that hurt, and that nobody has ever seen
That's where I rest, and in your new-found peace I breathe
And seeing you strong, I grow too because we are all children


Who of us has not navigated countless roads? Who doesn't hide things that fill us and pain us? But how many of us really have the strength and courage to walk tall despite those? It's in us all, we are all children, and we can all grow. We can find that peace, and we can live there. Each time I hear this song, I am reminded of that. Of the things I can and have and still hope to achieve, and of how you inspire me.

... y me alegra que te acerques con la fuerza de haber sido
y de ser superviviente de todo lo que has tenido

And it gladdens me to see you approach with the strength of having lived
And having been a survivor of everything you've had to deal with


Life lived fully makes us strong. I love that line. The strength of having lived. La fuerza de haber sido. It is ours by right, by virute of having lived.

I haven't heard another song that speaks to me so clearly what it means to survive and thrive - to put the effort into changing, without forgetting the past, and moving on with renewed spirit. There's no anger in the song, no regret, no shame and no blame. Just pride and celebration. And as I wrote last time, pride s something I'm trying real hard to embrace in my life right now.

Today, therefore, this a reminder to me of how much I've done, how much I've changed, how far I've come. From 20 years ago, to 10 years ago, to 5 years ago, to 5 months ago. As I wrote earlier, I may be weaker than I've ever been in my body, but the rest of me is stronger by leaps and bounds. I am a survivor. This song is about me. And thinking about it that way brings tears to my eyes.

I hope it touches you as it touches me.


Full Lyrics:
Nunca te he visto más alto ni más guapo ni mejor
te han sentado bien los años y me alegra oir tu voz
en el fondo de tus ojos donde guardas tus caminos 
lo que llena y lo que duele lo que nadie más ha visto 
es allí donde me quedo y en tu nueva paz respiro 
y me crece verte fuerte porque todos somos niños

Eres un superviviente de los días y los gritos 
de la soledad hiriente que taladra los sentidos 
has limpiado trapos viejos cambiado todo de sitio 
y me alegra que te acerques con la fuerza de haber sido
y de ser superviviente de todo lo que has tenido 

No hacen falta más detalles pero serán bienvenidos 
ya no cumples cada norma si no encuentras su sentido 
sigues buscando las flores hoy las cuidas con más mimo 
porque sabes que no crecen a la luz de cualquier sitio 

Eres un superviviente de los días y los gritos 
de la soledad hiriente que taladra los sentidos 
has limpiado trapos viejos cambiado todo de sitio y 
me alegra que te acerques con la fuerza de haber sido 
y de ser superviviente de todo lo que has tenido 

Nunca te he visto más alta ni más guapa ni mejor 
te han sentado bien los años y me alegra oir tu voz 
en el fondo de tus ojos donde guardas tus caminos 
lo que llena y lo que duele lo que nadie más ha visto 
es allí donde me quedo y en tu nueva paz respiro 
y me crece verte fuerte porque todos somos niños 

Eres un superviviente...

My rough translation:
I've never seen you look so tall, so handsome or so good,
The years suit you well, and your voice brings me joy
In the depths of your eyes where you guard the roads you've traveled,
Those things that fill, those things that hurt, and those things nobody has ever seen
That's where I rest, and in your newfound peace I breathe
And seeing you strong makes me grow because we are all children

You are a survivor of the days and the screams

Of the painful solitude that drills the senses
You've washed old rags, changed where everything goes,
And it gladdens me to see you approach with the strength of having lived
And having been a survivor of everything you've had to deal with

Details are unnecessary, but they are welcome
You no longer obey any norm if you can't find its reason
You seek out flowers and you care for them more lovingly
Because you know they won't grow in the light of just any place


I've never seen you look so tall, so beautiful or so well,
The years suit you well, and your voice brings me joy
In the depths of your eyes where you guard the roads you've traveled,
Those things that fill, those things that hurt, and those things nobody has ever seen
That's where I rest, and in your newfound peace I breathe
And seeing you strong makes me grow because we are all children


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