I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
To send me a private message, please e-mail me: flylittlewordsfly@gmail.com
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Wednesday, 18 May 2011

New Supports

As you know, if you've been reading, I've had a couple of rough weeks, thanks to cumulative post-exertional responses, and the low-pressure system going through Toronto right now. Not one to take things lying down (although literally, I have been lying down a lot), I've taken this time to find new supports.

Yesterday I enrolled in a self-care course, which is done online, and is supposed to give me tools and perspectives that will help my recovery. This course seems to have a good success rate, and I've heard good things through the grapevine. Today, I registered for a skype support group. I met with the therapist (online - she's in Australia), and really took a liking to her. So as of Tuesday, I will be having ongoing conversations with a few people who share my experience, and as of June, I will be learning more about how to deal with this ongoing ailment.

When we were doing the intake, the therapist noted that I'm being very proactive, and really taking the driver's seat, what with participating in forums, seeing a Naturopath and a Gestaltist, and seeking out new support options. It got me thinking, as random comments are wont to do, and I realized that it was this relapse that got me motivated. It seems that every time things get worse, I get more motivated. When the going gets tough, right?

I thrive on challenge, and this illness has been the ultimate challenge. This little relapse within the larger relapse really made me reflect and analyze my daily logs, looking for things I could have done differently, and has me really checking my rest periods. It made me realize how far I have come overall, and although there is still further to go, it gave me a sense of satisfaction - I have been able to bring myself to this level of functionality through sheer determination. Even the help I receive - it's there because I ask for it, or because I accept it when it is offered. Neither is easy for me to do, but I've had to change my thinking on that.

I'm hopeful that these new support mechanisms will help me stay determined, and I'm looking forward to conversing with others in my situation. I know I have much to contribute, and much to learn. It's exciting to know that, even though I can't go and finish the course in Cincinnati, I am starting another journey of learning.

I have to take control, because it's too easy to get sucked into the isolation and that only leads to depression, and I refuse (maybe politely but I could get violent about it) to go there. So instead, I take advantage of the wonderful world that inhabits the space between our computers, and seek answers, hope, inspiration and support. So far, it's working out really well for me.

So where's the next challenge? I'm ready!


  1. My lifetime listens to yours. :-)
    ~~~Muriel Rukeyser~~~

    Adelante mi amor adelante.

  2. There are tears in my eyes. I love you so much.