I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
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Monday, 21 February 2011

On the Village

It takes a village... to raise a child, yes, but also to make sure he's not totally messed up by his mom's illness.

One of the many ironies of my situation is that while I feel very unfairly treated by my body and the universe (at times), I am inversely feeling extremely fortunate in having the support of so many amazingly generous people.

Right now, apart from my health, mine and my family's main concern is for my son. He misses his 'old' mom, and is sad and upset when I can't do things like play video games (because I get dizzy) or wrestle (too weak) or read to him at night (takes too many marbles - see previous post).

Enter Village.

A normal day: My sister and mom take my son to school and back. I spend my day carefully monitoring my energy levels so I can save up enough to spend on him in the evening. We have wonderful conversations, I make dinner, sometimes he helps, we watch TV, we play... perfectly normal and lovely evenings. Mornings are wonderful now that he's older. A friend recently noted out how happy I must be about the emphasis I placed on his independence in the early years. She is so right. Usually, we do well on our own.

On days like today when I can barely move, It's almost as normal and perfect because I call on the Village Elders: Mom and Dad. Their house is a second home to us. They play with him. They make me tea. They make sure he has company and play time, and I have the rest and quiet that I need. They feed us, and drive us around. And all the while, I can still spend time with my not-at-all-baby. I also have an open invitation to my sister's home, but with her three young ones, it's not as restful. Fun, and entertaining, but not so restful. Still, nothing makes my smile goofier than those three munchkins... but I digress.

The weekends I spend with my son are precious, and I use all my energy to be with him. We dine with my family, we have playdates, and we hang out. The weekends he spends with Dad and Stepmom are respites for me - time to really heal. Dad and Stepmom are an important part of my son's Village. When I haven't been able to drive, they have gone (way) out of their way to get him home. His Dad has even driven into the city to take him sledding on 'my' weekends, which makes me so happy, because I can't do that this year. And last night, Stepmom was kind enough to send along a home-made dinner.

But our Village is bigger than that. My grandmother cooks and bakes for us. And every time any friend writes or calls, my spirits are lifted, which goes a long way in helping me stay focused on the things that really matter. Parents at the school, and even a couple of teachers, have offered to take my son on playdates, or for dinner, just to give me a break.

And here's the thing: I don't want a break. I love being a Mom. I live for it. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But being sick has made it more of a challenge. And you know how I love a challenge! Best of all though, this is a challenge I can handle, thanks to the support of the Village.


  1. When the body is finally listened to, it becomes eloquent. It's like changing a fiddle into a Stradivarius.
    ~~~Marion Woodman~~~

  2. I'm so glad to be part of your village and you are an integral part of mine! Love you!

  3. Que afortunados somos todos los que estamos cerca de ti al ver tu entereza y tu forma de actuar ante la vida, me da orgullo y me muestra lo importante que eres para mi, La nobleza de corazon y la fortaleza que tienes son un modelo a seguir... gracias por SER como eres me siento orgullosa deconocerte. Solo me queda decirte que te quiero mucho y que estoy a tus ordenes para lo que necesites,me encanta saber de ti este medio me a gustado mucho... que buena idea. te mando un beso.