I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
To send me a private message, please e-mail me: flylittlewordsfly@gmail.com
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Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Overdue Update

Wow - it's been a month since I blogged. Yeah. Ok. Here's what's up.

Remember how I was concerned about November? Yeah, well, it was December that got me this year. Not as bad as the last few years, I hope, but I have been experiencing a period of rather intense compensation . One thing after another, and life just moving more quickly than was healthy for me. I would really like to find a way to slow myself down when life won't do it for me. I think that is a very key aspect to a longer-term recovery, in my case.

My month has included food poisoning, a burst pipe, parent-teacher interviews, family events and a huge heap of family drama, weather changes, school committee meetings, and barometric pressure drops, topped off with a little cold I caught this week. So yeah, at least I know why I'm in turtle mode. No mystery here!

With everything going on, I'm finding it hard to stay in a place of being-ness, and that is certainly not helping. My brain is once again going full-speed, and the easiest way to stop my conscious thoughts is distraction, and even then...

I had an update from my doctor in California, for those following that story. There are some exciting developments on that end, most of which, to be very honest, I don't remember. I know we tweaked a few things, and he is happy with the results I am seeing from the Plasmyc Transfer Factor. I do remember that he wants me to up my dose, and see what happens. But not until I get past this, which could be a while.

The really exciting part is that he suggested a new treatment - the latest and greatest thing in the ME/CFS world: GcMAF, which stands for  Gc protein-derived macrophage activating factor. Don't ask me what that means. One of my symptoms is that I have a lot of trouble with my short-term memory, and with cognitive functioning (ie learning new stuff), so what happens is that the doctor explains it all to me, and I understand it perfectly - I ask intelligent questions, get clarification, I'm all excited about it - and then a day later it's gone. Just gone. It is extremely frustrating.

I know it has to do with macrophages and therefore my body's ability to deal with viruses, which is at the moment totally off-balance. I know it also has something to do with cytokines and lymphosites and all kinds of neat biological stuff that I don't really get. Here's a link for the science-geeks: http://www.gcmaf.eu/info/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=8&Itemid=9

The issue with GcMAF is that it is not sold in Canada, and is not approved by Canada, and therefore, my father has already started the process of learning what hoops we need to jump through to get it, because it is terribly overwhelming for me and he is just that awesome.

In other news...

The hedgehog is turning out to be about as much work as I'd imagined - I just did not count on the gross factor of her pooping on her wheel. That was the one place my research failed. Otherwise, she is adorable, and pretty used to her new home. She's pretty funny, and super cute.

My boy's baby sister is gorgeous, and he is loving being a big brother. I am as proud of him as I can possibly be, the way he's taken to her, and how loving he is. I'm Auntie-Andy, it seems, and am happy to take on that role. We all know how much I enjoy watching babies grow, so this is nice. I got to watch her sleep for a bit. Entrancing.

What else? What else... I don't know. That's enough for today, dontcha think? If I get my brain back on track anytime soon, I'll be back with more deep thoughts and musings. For now, I just needed to ramble on for a bit and so with that done, I am off to crawl into my bed.

Somebody somewhere said something beautiful about how the only place you can start is where you are. So here I am. Confused and tired and drained. Wired and tired. The question then is where do I go from here? The answer - the only answer, is onwards and upwards. Onwards and Upwards, my friends!

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