I always thought of blogs as being narcissistic, business related, or as my sister's, a way of keeping in touch or memorializing.

But, by necessity, I am learning a lot about myself. I find I need to get my thoughts out, and it helps me to know that someone else will read them. So I have created this little space for myself, to express the things I have trouble saying (be it emotional or physical trouble), to share what I'm going through, and what I'm learning through it.

I absolutely welcome comments. It's nice to know how people relate to what I'm saying.
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Monday, 4 July 2011

Back Home and Recovering

Well, I did it. I went camping. I packed up all the stuff, and with lots of help loaded everything into the car.

The family we go with every year are some of my oldest friends - she was one of my best friends when he became my first boyfriend, and I was one of their bridesmaids when they got married close to 15 years ago. My son falls between their elder daughter and son in age, and gets along really nicely with both of them. We may not see each other all that often, but they are definitely the kind of people I could call on at any given moment, and on whom I can count for unconditional support, and I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about me.

We started camping together again 5 years ago, with a 4 year old and a 3 year old. Since then, every year in different combinations with different groups of people, we have gone out to the same lake, and it's something my son and I look forward to and enjoy tremendously.

This year was the first year we've had no rain. Lots of sunshine, and stars. No rain. It was amazing.

We go to a place on the Canadian Shield, so we get rocky crags, mixed forests, and marshes. It's gorgeous. It's a land-locked lake, small enough to canoe across the longest part in a couple of hours, and there are no motor boats allowed - except for park staff emergency and maintenance vehicles, which we rarely see or hear. We also stay in the walk-in sites, so we are away from car traffic as well. For three or four days, we use our feet and canoes to get around, and a children's wagon to transport all the gear around. Every year we have encountered the usual mix of "domestisized" Canadian wildlife - racoons, loons, chipmunks and loads of bugs.

Going up there is literally and figuratively a breath of fresh air. It is calm, peaceful, and so completely and wonderfully naturally beautiful. It is refreshing. Even this year, it was moderately refreshing.

When we go, I am used to doing heavy lifting, canoeing, hiking, child-wrangling, fire-tending, tent-building and striking, cooking, washing, swimming... you get the idea. This year, I had to content myself with just being out there. And I think it gave me a different appreciation for the place.

I had some difficulties, with the heat, the amount of walking necessitated by the pure geography of the place, with the noise, with the sheer number of people who came with us, and the movement and activity levels around me. The camping recliner I bought specifically for this trip ripped apart the moment I sat down on it (of course it was perfect when we tried it out in the store), and the air mattresses (also bought for this trip, so that I could feel assured of actually being able to sleep) were too big for the sleeping arrangements we had made, so there were lots of adjustments that needed to be made. Not such a big deal.

I still got to eat my s'mores, and when we ran out of graham crackers, marshmallows melted onto brownies - let me say: YUM!!!!  I still got to watch my son skip rocks and play in the water, and I got to enjoy my friends and their families. The stars were absolutely amazing, and there is really nothing quite like seeing them reflected in the water of a calm lake, surrounded by nature of the kind painted by the Group of 7. Awe-inspiring.

Today was hard. Really hard. I got up with my son, but when he left for camp, I went back to sleep, and stayed that way until noon. Writing this is the first "real" activity I've been able to engage in today. Now I will go and eat dinner with my family. I am hoping that my recovery will be fast, and tomorrow I will be feeling a bit more. If nothing else, I hope the headache and nausea subside.

In the meantime, I am once again grateful to my village - my parents for helping me pack and unpack, and for taking us in for a few days. My friends for a wonderful weekend, for showing real understanding of my limitations, and for taking care of me while we were out there, and for compensating for my lack of ability.

Mostly though, I will treasure the moments, the warmth and beauty of an amazing weekend spent with my amazing son and wonderful friends.
View from Canoe Dock
That's my boy up front!
Oh Mr. Sun, sun..

1 comment:

  1. Above all, do not loose your desire to walk.
    ~~~Soren Kierkegaard~~~

    I am so proud of you, you did it!!!