Warning: bragging and boasting below! Ok, hopefully it will only be self-acknowledgment, but still, you've been warned!
Much of my therapy session the other day twisted over to the fact that I have a real problem owning my personal accomplishments, as do many many women in this world. We are taught (implicitly) that to toot our own horn is bad form, un-ladylike, and downright rude. After all, "pride cometh before the fall," and Icarus did fall. Boastful people are annoying as anything, and braggarts are rarely respected or believed. So we hide our accomplishments, don't express pride, and diffuse compliments and credit that is given to us. In effect, we dis-empower ourselves.
So I had a little chat with the aspect of my self which believes all that to be true. And she told me that nobody would like me if I took ownership of my success. Luckily for me, I was able to refute that idea, by recalling times when I have taken ownership and have not suffered for it (yes, I do actually talk to myself, and yes, it does help - it's part of how Gestalt works). You see, what I realized that day is that bragging and taking ownership of our accomplishments are not at all the same thing.
Bragging comes from a place of insecurity - it's like saying "Look what I did, that makes me great, now will you like me? Please see how awesome I am! Look at me, I'm here! Please like me!" It hides self-pity in the cloak of self-importance. And all self-importance ultimately does come from a very small and dark little place - it is quite simply overcompensation. I've done my fair share of that, mostly in my younger years. And no, it did not make me popular. Those kinds of actions rarely appeal to emotionally secure people. They appeal to people who are themselves insecure and are looking for someone behind whom they can hide. Bragging can also be about taking credit where it is not due. Trying to compensate for what we see as our own failures by taking credit for other people's successes.
